‘Chatting to my Mother’
© Joe Canning 2018. All Rights Reserved.
Today I shook hands with my dad; in
The fresh air, on the outside.
For fourteen years he’s looked at me
From across a visitor’s table.
Today I tasted a small gift of freedom.
I walked with my sister outside the walls.
I treasured the company of a thousand people
Saw the changing world that I’m soon to embrace.
Ten glorious hours; where no keys rattled,
Where no one watched me in my rehabilitation.
A breakfast that made me feel like a celebrity
I tasted the salt air in the drizzle, on a shingled beach.
I pondered my past, my mistakes and my stupidity.
I regretted the things that I cannot undo, I felt remorse.
I treasured that time with my loved ones and I laughed.
I regretted denying myself the simple pleasures of life.
I felt the warmth of my family and your unconditional love.
I was thankful you did not abandon me, nor they.
They watched when I returned and the door slammed.
I look forward to the day that I can visit them.
To the day when they no longer remove shoes and belts.
I will have patience for the door’s opening and my liberty.
For the moment when I look back and vow; “I will never return.”
To keep the promise I made when I saw you last.
I shall think of you when I’m in a situation, I will see your face.
I will remember your words and your loving advice. I miss you.
I will be the man you want me to be; the man I am going to be.
The time of my being in control is close. It is near and I will win.
For you will be the heavenly light that guides me.