‘The Northern Ireland Boiler Song’ © Joe Canning 2017. All Rights Reserved.

‘The Northern Ireland Boiler Song’
© Joe Canning 2017. All Rights Reserved.

(Set to the ‘Air’ of “The Black Velvet Band”)

In a neat little town they call Belfast
a bit of a scam it was formed,
The land would be littered with boilers,
and large empty barns would be warmed
The word it went round all the province,
Apply now and heat all your hens
And for every fiver you squander.
We’ll give you back eight more to spend.

CHORUS

And their eyes they sparkled like diamonds
They melted the frosts on the barns
and the Spads in that big house called Stormont
Were dancing and clapping their hands

They all thought that no one would notice
They all thought they’d get off scot free.
But Arlene received a wee e-mail
and the whole place is now on its knees.
There was Sammy and Gregory and Edwin
There was Givan and other’s goin’ mad
And now their not speaking to Nolan,
for he questioned the cash for the lads.

CHORUS

And their eyes they sparkled like diamonds
They melted the frosts on the barns
and the Spads in that big house called Stormont
Were dancing and clapping their hands

The place was in uproar for Christmas
from the banks of the Foyle to the Bann
then Simon and Arlene decided
to come up with their own cunning plan.
they wrote to the folk with the burners,
they sent them a special request,
Please let us withdraw all the contracts
The D-U-P and Arlene think that’s best.

CHORUS

And their eyes they sparkled like diamonds
They melted the frosts on the barns
and the Spads in that big house called Stormont
Were dancing and clapping their hands

And so there’s to be an election.
The people are going to the polls,
And the Duppers with big spades are diggin’
The holes of their self made own goals,
And when this whole episode’s over
and the sensible folk have their say
The Spads and the gangsters are prisoners
and their bigotry’s deep in the clay.

CHORUS

And their eyes they sparkled like diamonds
They melted the frosts on the barns
and the Spads in that big house called Stormont
Were dancing and clapping their hands

Image: RHI ‘cash for ash’ scandal

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