A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party.

He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.

A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Enclosed please find a pirate costume. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will make a brilliant pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk’s costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should surely look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to emphasising his bald head, so again he writes the Company another letter of complaint.

The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,

We have TRIED our very BEST.
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.

Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.