‘Once Upon a Time In Raphoe’
© Joe Canning 2016. All Rights Reserved.
Well once I went a wanderin,’
With my mind on some philanderin,’
So I headed for Raphoe I do declare.
All practised at the jiving,’
With the Romeo in me thrivin’,
A Casanova at the horsey fair.
I had stout and shots of creatur’,
Certain I would perform better,
While practicing my wild alluring charms.
To Elvis I was swingin’ and;
me shirt with sweat was wringin’
As I followed in the footsteps of Astaire.
I spotted Nancy Daly,
and approached her nice and gaily,
I Invited her to share with me a waltz,
She said, “you must be joking”,
Not with you if I was choking”,
Called me an eejit, told me to get lost.
Now the whole town fancied Nancy,
For the news was she was chancy,
They said she was ‘quite generous’ to men,
So I thought I’d come back later,
When the gin and lemon beat her,
And offer her the chance to think again.
It was well into the evenin’,
When I noticed Nancy leaving,
I asked if I could maybe leave her home.
I joked “this is a stick up!”
Nancy laughed and then she hiccupped,
And we wandered off into to the night alone.
Next morn I woke beside her,
In a hay barn full of spiders,
Nancy lost her dazzling dentures in the hay.
And amidst the consternation,
We were guilty of creation,
As her earrings and an eyelash fell away.
So listen well young fellows,
Take it easy and be mellow
And don’t be goin’ a playing fancy games.
One mistake and she’s a mother
Then like me you’ll be in bother,
As your wages go on feeding squealin’ weans.
So the moral of my story,
Is forget that manly glory,
It will lead you to a life of drudgery.
Stay away from barns and spiders,
Women drinkin’ gin and cider,
Be a bachelor or you’ll end up just like me.
Joe Canning’s Poetry Page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebirdstownboy/